To make your life together happy, it is worth adopting a few simple tips that will help you learn to love, appreciate and hear each other, regardless of the circumstances.
#1 Keep each other optimistic
If you see an unfavorable mood of your partner, help us track and realize that negative thoughts automatically arise and understand whether they should be taken as true. Learn together to put such thoughts into doubt every day and select refuters of facts, give other explanations for unprecedented events. Try to consciously direct your attention and that of your partner and divert them from depressing thoughts. Remind each other that replaying these thoughts over and over again doesn’t work. Try to keep your focus on the positive.
#2 Despite different schedules, try to fall asleep and wake up together as often as possible
During the day, each of you is busy with everyday activities, and if you do not devote time to each other before bed or after sleep, you risk losing contact altogether. You can discuss the past day, put your kids to sleep together, or just look into each other’s eyes, listen to a new podcast together, you can hug, kiss. This is a special “exercise” that helps reduce the stress level of both of you, and it will be enough to fill your partner with a sense of warmth and togetherness (read also: “Relationship Test: what the position in which you sleep with your partner says”).
No. 3 I choose together for a half-hour walk
It is desirable that it should be a park, a wooded area, places near the water. First, it will give you the opportunity to distract yourself from household chores, work, organize the events that occurred during the day, and put your thoughts in order. In addition, there are many times fewer distractions in such places, and this reduces the level of stress. The brain activates the passive mode of work, and at such moments it is good to be close to your loved one.
#4 Keep caring for each other
A well-established family life does not mean that you no longer need to pay attention to each other. You must constantly strengthen your relationship. Such a familiar form of physical intimacy as hugs, for example, can bring tenderness and romance to any relationship. Couples who like to hug each other always feel more in touch. Do not forget the simple truth: growing up, we do not lose the need for hugs and touches, adults, like children, need it. Each time you break up, give each other a six-second kiss. You can do more, but you can’t do less. That’s how much you need to start the production of oxytocin. Then your fears will ease and your trust will increase. Admire each other and show it off with compliments.
#5 Create an environment for positive habits little by little every day
When you introduce a habit into your life, you should make it an obvious element of your environment. The surrounding reality has a great influence on us, but often we live in the reality that someone has already created for us, and not in the one that we have created ourselves. If you make an effort to create it yourself, you become the architect of your reality and are much more willing to use its elements. It is in your power to create together with your partner a favorable environment for the development of new useful habits.
If you buy fruit, such as apples, you put them in the bottom compartment of the refrigerator and forget about them. Over time, they spoil, and you throw them away without ever tasting them. Arrange with your partner to put a bowl of fruit in a prominent place – so that you can eat apples much more often simply because they are in your field of vision. If you plan to go to the gym together in the morning, prepare your sports uniform in the evening and put your backpack in the hallway. If you decide to read more, leave the book on the bedside table. You can transform the reality around you yourself.
#6 Take a small step every day to eliminate bad habits and their provoking factors
If any of you want to say goodbye to a bad habit, the task of the partner is to remind you about it. The most radical way to fight: this removes the incentive from reach, makes it harder to perform the action – so the partner simply won’t notice the incentive and won’t launch the goal. For example, if either of you or the two of you are trying to eat less sweets, don’t buy sweets at all, the same applies to cigarettes and alcohol. Everyone’s self-control in this situation is, of course, important. But if you’re a couple , it’s a strategy that works in the long run. After all, a huge role in shaping our habits and behavior patterns and eliminating negative ones is played by the environment – family and friends, and first of all a loved one.
#7 During minor domestic conflicts, do not immediately try to solve the problem, think about understanding
This is especially important for women. To calm down a woman, you just need to listen to her. The only thing a woman wants during a conflict is to make sure that her partner understands her feelings. The very solution of the problem for its second time. It even happens that the problem does not need to be solved at all. A woman needs to speak out and feel understood.
Most conflicts aren’t about money, family problems, or sex. Most quarrels don’t have any specific problem. The partner may simply not listen to what they are told. And then the quarrel is triggered, because the other feels helpless in this situation.
So that this does not happen, so that the partner does not feel unfair and irresponsible, listen to the partner and try to understand the feelings. Show understanding and empathy, and the conflict will disappear. If, on the contrary, you attack, either remain silent, or show contempt, the conflict will flare up with a new force (see also: “Playing by the rules: how to fight with a partner to strengthen the relationship”).
If you don’t want the conflict to escalate, don’t react in this way. At this point, you need to take a deep breath and count to 10. You can find out the cause of the pain and resolve the conflict with your loved one by asking three questions:” What do you need?”,” What is bothering you?”,”How do you feel?”.
#8 Have breakfast together
Prepares the “platform” for the morning meal in advance. For example, prepare for this in the evening: wash the dishes, prepare the necessary ingredients-so it will be much easier for you to complete the planned task. Even if your partner leaves the house earlier than you do, try to get up and share breakfast with them, setting him or her up for a productive and enjoyable day. Then you can go back to bed again, the main thing is that you have completed the cherished “morning ritual”.
#9 Plan something together every day
Let it be plans for the weekend, month, or year. For example, plan a trip to unexpected places. Make a plan for the year, how many places you want to visit. Travel allows us to learn how people in other countries live, think, and create. Travel allows you to expand your horizons and look at life from different points of view, enriching you with knowledge in the field of art, architecture, communication with nature.
#10 Don’t forget to give thanks
This is an important moment in any relationship, whether friendly, romantic or family. By saying “thank you” to a person, you indicate to him that his actions matter, and his efforts were not in vain.
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