1. Correctly fill in the form
Want to be taken seriously? Fill out the form without negativity or provocation. Aggressive speech is repulsive. Potential partners should not feel that you are offended by this world. Show a mature and happy part of yourself.
Instead of hundreds of photos, tell us more about what fills you, what you are happy about. And no sexy bikinis. Let the interlocutor wait for a meeting with your personality, and not with the body.
It is important to set intentions and weed out those who are looking for an easy relationship. This will save time and hassle. There are enough men and women on the Internet looking for family and marriage.
2. Block without a twinge of conscience
There is no need to explain why this or that person is not suitable for you. There is no need to debate whose approach to life is more correct. It is impossible to please everyone and everyone. Likewise, you cannot be satisfied with all candidates. You don’t owe anything to people you barely know.
Any advanced blogger will tell you that he often removes unnecessary comments and always blocks negative users.
3. Call within one to three days
Say no to lengthy correspondence. It just doesn’t make sense. There are people who are only interested in virtual communication. For example, these are prisoners who added photos of some handsome man from the Internet to their profile. Instead of fictitious love, talk on the phone. In 5 minutes of conversation, you will understand more about a person than from kilometers of chatting. For example, not everyone agrees to communicate with a person who is swearing or rude.
You can get an additional phone for safety.
4. Make an appointment not immediately, but after 5 days
Who would you like to meet? With a person who deliberately goes to get to know you, or with someone who just suffers from boredom and is ready to take the evening with anyone? Since the goal of dating is a serious relationship, have your partner look forward to meeting you. To do this, ask to plan early dates in advance.
5. Meet no more than once every 5 days
If in a whirlwind romance everything starts quickly and ends just as quickly, then in our case a bit of prudence will not hurt. When it comes to a serious relationship, you can’t just trust a hormonal surge. So, for example, during PMS and ovulation, the chemical reaction between partners will be different. It is necessary to see the chosen one in different moods and under different life circumstances.
6. Get to know your partner better
Consider why he insists on an extremely busy program if you barely know him. So he scored Strike in bowling, and this is an occasion for squeals and hugs, and then passionate kisses. As a rule, the hottest men are pickupers or married gentlemen, whose spouses have left the city for a couple of days. In a short time, they need to reduce the distance to a minimum.
Do not rush into the pool with your head. The mature person understands that relationships become fulfilling over time. Make sure that you are interested in the inner world of the interlocutor, and vice versa. Pay attention to whether emotional closeness is being created, whether there is trust, confidence in a partner. When you’re in a serious mood, it’s important to test compatibility in all areas, not just sex.
7. Respect your boundaries
What to do when you are asked to send a photo in a bikini, come to visit, see you now, or, for example, go out of town with an unfamiliar man? Do I need to prove my trust, confirm that the partner is interesting to you? No. When you set boundaries, 99% of demanding manipulators are instantly weeded out. Based on the feedback to the refusal, it becomes clear whether they are ready to respect you or are trying to push you through.
8. Be yourself
This is one of the most important needs in a relationship. To love is to accept each other as we really are. One of the worst life scenarios is getting involved in a relationship where you can’t be yourself. Try to be sincere and real from the beginning. However, you should not “bare” your soul too early. Openness grows as relationships develop.
9. Be friendly
Show respect. The Internet is a place where useful people can be found. Do not snort: “I came to a meeting with the man of my dreams, and here you are.” Not all meetings will be equally enjoyable. However, dating is helpful. You will clearly understand what you are definitely not ready to put up with and what qualities you are looking for in your future partner. Tune in to the fact that you are just getting acquainted. Including with herself: with her values, limitations and limits.
Feel like this is not your person? Be gentle and honest: “I doubt that we are the same in some aspects of the relationship.” Thank you for your attention and time spent. If conflict is inevitable – see point 2.
10. Put relationships on play
This is one of the key family therapy techniques. 5 minutes of observing a spouse’s communication can reveal more than a four-hour conversation about their difficulties. During the diagnostic phase, the therapist does not intervene in the family quarrel in order to allow everyone to manifest themselves in a natural way. Play means letting the familiar happen.
You only need one single person who will be right for you
Watch the natural flow of the relationship, too. What themes are being built? Where is the partner heading? He calls you to the club, and you are not a fan of nightlife? He likes to philosophize, but are you bored with his long monologues? Are you hovering in the same clouds? Resist the temptation to give the keys to your heart yourself. If you immediately share all your preferences, then at the stage of conquest, the chosen one will adjust to your desires. But you need to see reality. Believe in actions, not words.
11. Listen to yourself
He is a good person, he offers a lot of things, but you feel in your heart that this is not yours. What if he insists on the next meeting? If you do not want to communicate with him – admit it to yourself. Of course, you can give a second chance if you like it. But if one or two more dates could not convince you, you should not go against yourself.
Be honest with yourself: if this is not the person you were looking for, do not live in illusions. You shouldn’t “pull” yourself into relationships that won’t make you happy. You can’t hide from the truth. Always listen to your inner voice.
12. Immerse yourself in a world of abundance
Believe in your happy marriage. Every salesperson knows: “no” does not mean “no, never” – it means “no, not now.” Many people will not be able to make you happy. Someone will not answer a message or call back, someone will not come on a date. But this does not mean at all that you will not find your betrothed. Understand that you only need one single person who will be right for you. Don’t settle for less. Determine your height and match it.
While waiting for a meeting, it is useful to build up gratitude, attentiveness, sensitivity, tact, and the ability to express love. Pump over the missing qualities.
about the author
Anastasia Ryazanova Is a consultant psychologist specializing in weight loss and family therapy. Her.
Source : www.psychologies.ru