Bringing a child into the world is an adventure that changes many aspects, and some affect the couple. How to understand his role as a parent, while remaining lovers? Are these two poles as far apart as the Arctic and the Antarctic?
The well-being of the couple is as important as that of the baby or the mother. And in the same way that you have to reorganize your daily life, get information or get help, taking care of your relationship and your sexuality is a key element for which you will need resources. Here are 3 essential tips to put in place.
1. Give time to time
Giving birth is a strong moment for your psyche and your emotional life. It is also a demanding exercise for your body which has spent nine months carrying a baby. Then comes the birth: the newborn comes out of its mother’s womb through the place where the sperm entered. But the pleasure is not the same: the pains of the contractions, the fatigue of labor, and sometimes a cesarean section, an episiotomy or a tear will require the tissues to be stitched up … Do you have to be crazy to imagine a mother coming out of this? emotional and bodily tsunami with a fierce desire to make love?
During the first few weeks, it is therefore normal to concentrate your forces to adapt to the child’s rhythm. The flow of milk, the hormonal drop, sleepless nights, post-partum depression, pain related to healing and present in the simplest gestures (getting up, peeing, walking) … are all elements that allow to understand that it takes a little time. Allow about six weeks for the uterus to settle and for the blood loss to stop.
The new mother may also feel emptied (of fatigue), empty (because her baby has left her womb) or deformed (and therefore unattractive). Sometimes the fear of hurting can also cause a psychological blockage. Not to mention the fear of being disappointed, since it is often said that sensations change and that the pleasure is no longer the same. Also, when a woman breastfeeds, her body secretes a hormone called prolactin. It is essential for lactation, but it affects the amount of dopamine. It is in the first three months that the effects are felt on the libido which is often down: it is as if the sexual desire had been put in the fridge.
Wanting to go too fast can cause relationship difficulties: mutual misunderstandings or a feeling of not having been understood or respected. Do not forget the famous proverb: “everything comes right to who knows how to wait”. In the meantime, stay together by sharing other things: discuss your desires, favor intimate moments such as a simple hug, spend time together …
2. Say “yes” to the lubricant
To make love is to penetrate the body of the other. The body normally produces a natural lubricant during foreplay when you are aroused. However, after childbirth, the perineum will react differently. Libido is decreased due to the drop in dopamine, caused by the increase in prolactin (lactation hormone secreted after childbirth). Postpartum fatigue and sleepless nights don’t help either. An unbalanced diet, as well as a lack of hydration of the body and the skin can also play a role. As well as the progestogen pills given to the mother for breastfeeding … In short, all of these elements can cause vaginal dryness.
To remedy this, you will find many over-the-counter lubricants in pharmacies. These gels will reproduce the natural secretions produced by the female body. Soothing creams can also be used to increase your comfort during the day. These are external remedies. For an internal solution, the doctor should be asked to prescribe cannulas. For example, borage oil is beneficial in promoting hydration of the skin. It is rich in omega-6 and can be taken internally. It will have a beneficial appearance on the mucous membranes.
Vaginal dryness increases the risk of vaginal infections. This can pose other problems at the level of intimate relationships. This is the reason why we advise you not to minimize this point!
3. Choose the right position
It is important to take into account the ordeal through which the new mother’s body has gone and to give it all the required softness, favoring certain positions. For example, the Amazon position (the woman on the man) allows the woman to direct the report by guiding her partner, to measure the pain and to be able to react to it very quickly, by adapting the pace if necessary.
Opting for a side position is generally more restful. This is the position of the spoon. It allows partners to experience closeness since the bodies are glued together: the couple is lying on their side, the man behind the woman. This axis invites tenderness, sensuality and fusion. The man can indeed speak in his partner’s ear, whisper sweet words to him and kiss him on the neck. Depending on her fatigue or tone, the woman can bend her leg towards her to feel a stronger, deeper penetration. It is important not to over-stimulate the uterus.
Above all, listen to your body and act according to your needs. Above all, don’t force yourself to exercise an unpleasant position or have sex when you don’t want to. Intimacy can be found with other practices: caresses, foreplay, intimate ties, tenderness …
Source : mamans.femmesdaujourdhui.be