I so often offer my readers the formulas of ideal relationships that they must have formed the opinion that in my life everything goes exclusively by the rules. How could it not be! Believe me, I did, and I make exactly the same mistakes as you. Sometimes, knowledge unfortunately comes to us much later than it should be. Yes, of course, sometimes I think: no matter what the situation, then I do it differently. But, unfortunately, the missed time cannot be returned, so, all I can do at the moment is to share my rich experiences with other women. Maybe it will save someone from mistakes.
You will never be able to charm everyone
Sometimes something really worthwhile comes our way. Or rather, someone. In all respects he is perfect: beautiful, smart, in short, is the happy owner of all the characteristics that you dreamed of sleepless nights, but no longer hoped to meet in reality. True, he, your dream man has one downside – he does not want you. We are so organized – everyone has their own nature, everyone wants to give something and get something in return. And if the nature of one person coincides with the nature of another, you can get a great love story, and if not… If not, it does not mean that something is wrong with you, you just did not match, and that’s fine.
Another common mistake is to think, “This man is just perfect for me.” The refutation lies in the situation itself – if it is not with you, then it is unlikely it was created just for you.
Don’t forget to leave room for friends and loved ones in your life when a man appears in it
I made this mistake when I entered into my first serious relationship. I was a schoolgirl, a teenager, and instead of focusing on my studies or something else vital, I spent days sitting with my first lover, eating pizza, watching TV series, occasionally appearing in class or in the gym. Most of my close friends were not thrilled with my boyfriend (and by the way, they had good reasons for that), but I was blinded by love. To all the dissatisfied I offered, since they can no longer share my happiness, peacefully withdraw from my life.
When the relationship ended, I suddenly felt like the loneliest person in the world – I had no one to go back to. Then I still managed to rebuild some relationships, but most of the friends are irrevocably left in the past. The stupidest thing that can come to your mind is to give up friends for love. If you are young and in love, you may think that friends are a small price to pay for another lover. In fact, it is an inappropriate sacrifice that you will sooner or later have to realize.
Any normal man is attracted to a woman who has a life besides him. It’s hard to believe, but no one wants to be the center of the universe, it’s too much of a responsibility.
Work on yourself
Man is not a panacea. It is not given to you in order to heal old wounds or improve your quality of life. Of course, a harmonious relationship can positively affect your mood, but only. Your attention should always be focused on making yourself better on your own. The beginning of a relationship does not mean the end of work on yourself.
Many women view love as a kind of finishing touch, allowing them to calm down and stop evolving is a mistake.
Don’t believe everything men say
This is perhaps the biggest problem for most women. We are arranged in such a way that we tend to say what we feel. Men are slightly different from us. I don’t mean to say that men always lie, not at all, but they prefer to express themselves through actions. For example, if your chosen one claims to dream of taking care of you, and in fact is not ready to move a finger to help you in the most primitive situation, most likely, he just does not feel strong feelings for you.
Personally, having discovered this simple truth, I can now protect myself from unnecessary pain and anxiety. Remember and repeat to yourself, each time, like the mantra: “Actions are louder than words.”
Don’t put physics above the psyche
On the one hand, I really believe that physical contact is necessary and creates more space for emotional connection. By admitting a man to your body, you focus on how much you want him, not on whether he will be the winning party for you or not.
On the other hand, sometimes it seems to me that too fast a rapprochement is capable of creating a false feeling, as if along with physical penetration happens and emotional. This mistake is especially common in high school girls. We like the new guy so much that we don’t notice – the handsome guy just wants to sleep with us, and nothing more.
Here are the simple rules I wanted to share with you. Although… On the other hand, now that I’m married, it seems to me that if I didn’t make all the mistakes I talked about above, I wouldn’t be so happy in family life.
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