1. Lack of sex
In a relationship, there is no intimate connection if the couple gets closer physically less than ten times a year. In most couples, the lack of sex drives partners apart from each other.
Sexologist Sari Cooper emphasizes that partners become strangers at a very deep level. Often they avoid not only sex, but also discussing the problem, which increases the feeling of loneliness and isolation. When the spouses come to the appointment, the specialist helps to identify the problem without blaming anyone in particular. A partner who suffers from a lack of sex needs to take the first step and share how he misses being intimate with his loved one. Such tactics are better than recriminations and accusations.
2. Uncertainty about attractiveness
A woman needs to feel desirable and attractive; this is an important element of arousal. Martha Meena, who does research on sexuality, says: “For a woman, being wanted is like having an orgasm.”
Sexologist Laura Watson claims: if a man cannot convince a woman of her attractiveness, intimate life naturally fades. Solving a problem requires clarifying and discussing each other’s expectations. The more and better you communicate, the better the sex will be.
3. Lost trust
Recovering a sex life after cheating is not easy. Sari Cooper says that the wrong partner will have to work hard to regain trust, and the second partner needs to understand what led to the betrayal. Often couples have to create a new “sex contract” to accommodate needs that were previously hidden or not met.
4. Lack of physical attraction
In couples who have lived together for a long time, the loss of physical attractiveness can undermine the relationship, according to sexologist Mushumi Goz. Sometimes the reason is that one of the spouses has let himself go.
Of course, stress at work, fatigue from family responsibilities and other activities are not in vain. But people who no longer find partners physically attractive often take this as a sign that the partner doesn’t care about themselves or their relationship.
5. Illness as an excuse
Couples stop having sex for a variety of physiological and health reasons: premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or pain during intercourse in women. Sexologist Celeste Hirschman advises not only to see a doctor, but also to analyze the emotional side of the problem.
A partner who needs less sex begins to control their sex life.
If you justify all problems with sex or with relationships in general by physiological reasons, there is reason to think. You shift the focus to health, avoiding discussing sexual and emotional needs. Couples need to look beyond physiological issues and pay attention to the fears that grow around them.
6. You don’t take your partner’s sexual desires seriously.
People like different things. When a partner opens up and admits that he wants to have hard sex or role-playing games, you should not neglect this or make fun of his desires.
Sexologist Ava Cadell explains: “I tell my clients that everything can be discussed – even in the bedroom. Have your partner share three fantasies. Then the other chooses one of them and implements it. From now on, you can share your fantasies without fear of judgment or rejection. ”
7. Mismatch of temperaments
Many couples suffer from mismatched sexual temperaments – when one of the couple needs sex more often than the other. A partner who needs less sex takes control of their sex life. As a result, the spouse with a stronger sexual temperament builds up resentment and resistance.
Sexologist Megan Fleming believes: if you do not deal with the problem of mismatch of sexual temperaments, the risk of divorce or betrayal increases. A partner with a stronger sexual temperament does not want to continue this way all his life. When he got married, he did not choose the path of humility and abstinence.
Don’t wait until your partner gets stumped. Deal with the problem right away. The causes of decreased libido are complex and interrelated, but the problem can be corrected.