A short phrasebook for couples: how to understand each other

What shortcomings of each other is better to close your eyes to? We analyze 5 typical conflict situations with a psychologist and learn to deftly get out of them.

Men, as you know, are from Mars, and women are from Venus. How can one speak the same language? We analyze 5 typical conflict situations and learn to look at them through the eyes of our half.

Conflict: his friends

Trigger phrase: “You are not at home on Fridays!”

Men tend to make a large number of friends and maintain regular relationships with them. And even starting a family, they are not ready to part with “their boyfriends.” This is how the primordially masculine property is manifested – the need to build social ties. The fact is that he can only be realized in society, while a woman can find herself in the family.

For her. If your husband spends a lot of time with friends, and you resent him for it, look at the situation differently. Your chosen one knows how to perfectly interact with people, which means that you will never be left alone with him with problems for which life is very generous. Better try to make friends with his company.

For him. Perhaps your wife lacks attention, because she sincerely does not understand why you are not spending Friday night with her, but with friends. Probably, the time has come to leave their purely masculine territory and move towards the hearth.

Conflict: socks in the corner

Trigger phrase: “What does it smell like?”

The number of cells responsible for the perception of smells in the female brain is 50% more than in the male. Scientists believe that this is the merit of an evolutionary mechanism, thanks to which a woman determines the quality of a man’s genes by smell and subconsciously recognizes and falls in love with a carrier of a different genotype.

For her. The situation when the socks are standing at attention in the corner can be fine with your macho. He does not particularly feel amber from stale linen and chooses controversial eau de toilette. Look with humor at this insensitivity to odors, thanks for not getting the same perfumer from the movie.

For him. Due to their subtle sense of smell, women love objects that men consider trinkets – aroma candles, bath foam, oils, sachets. Women are very sensitive to pleasant smells, so any men’s den is quickly filled with incense, it is worth bringing a young lady there. By the way, in any incomprehensible situation, immediately give your wife flowers. A pleasant natural scent acts on ladies flawlessly.

Conflict: choosing a dress

Trigger phrase: “Which is better – powdery, nude or ivory?”

Remember the famous story with the color of the dress? The population of the planet was divided into those who were sure that it was “white and gold” and those who swore by their mother – a dress “black and blue.” The fact is that a large number of people are simply color blind and can live their lives without even knowing it. And these people are men. Women rarely suffer from this ailment.

For her. When you forgive your husband to tell you which dress to wear – purple or violet, and he completely sincerely answers you that “both blue suit you”, do not be upset. He is not trying to offend you, just unlike you he is not able to distinguish up to one hundred million color shades. But in a dark alley, he will grab you by the hand in time and save you from falling into a hole, because men can see much better than women in the dark and are perfectly oriented on the terrain.

For him. Does your spouse constantly criticize your choice of clothes three minutes before leaving the house? She’s not maliciously forcing you to repeatedly change shirts and ties, just a woman’s eye is looking for the perfect color harmony. Remind her that the meeting will be attended mostly by men who will not appreciate her efforts, but they are traditionally good at watches and do not like to wait.

Conflict: baby crying

Trigger phrase: “How can you sleep when Seva woke up ?!”

Nature has rewarded a woman with the ability to instantly wake up from sound at high frequencies so that she can always hear the cry of her child.

For her. Of course, it is a little offensive to get up to a roaring baby every night while my husband sleeps sweetly and irresponsibly. But male ears can also come in handy – he knows how to accurately identify the source of any noise. In this case, he knows the source is a child, there is no danger to his family, and he can continue to sleep.

For him. Many of the sounds that annoy your wife – the obsessive buzzing of a mosquito, repairs at the neighbors, increased TV volume – you don’t even notice. Save your wife from nasty creatures (mosquitoes, not neighbors), even if you don’t hear them – the fact is that a woman can really feel worse due to intrusive sounds.

Conflict: single-tasking

Trigger phrase: “While watching football, brush out Tuzik and fix the multicooker!”

Multitasking is nothing more than the ability of the brain to switch between multiple activities. This is what a woman copes with masterly. Unlike a man. If a man is watching boxing, he is watching boxing. If a woman watches boxing with a man, then she can do up to four things at the same time: 1. put a caring mask on her face / hair, 2. leaf through Instagram with one eye, 3. make a list of products, 4. pretend she loves boxing.

For her and for him. When you have a husband who is the “chief on the plates”, you are surprised to notice that he makes breakfast strictly sequentially (and terribly slowly) – first he mixes the omelet, and only then turns on the stove, then puts the kettle on and so on. You have time to turn on the kettle, load the multicooker, reply to your friend on social networks and sign up for a manicure even before going to the shower.

Yes, men perceive any business as important and do only it at a time, but in large tasks – creative, scientific – this ability to concentrate on one thing gives tremendous results.

See also: A step towards – 5 ways to quickly make up

Your husband is descended from an ancient hunter who has always focused on the priority task of slaughtering a mammoth and bringing it to his woman. Humanity would not have survived if a man, in parallel with tracking down prey, discussed with his friends what night there was a large meteor shower or that the australopithecines were completely unbelted.

In turn, a woman’s ability to do many things in a row is also evolutionarily justified – she had to look for roots with mushrooms in the grass, and look after the children, and not let the fire go out in the cave.

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