How to avoid Valentine’s Day?

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The lovers’ day is not your thing. You are in a relationship, but you have only one desire: to hide in a drawer. And do a bunch of other effective Valentine’s Day avoidance tips.

Quit it

The night before, lips quivering and confiding their discomfort about Valentine’s Day, tell the man it’s over. Above all, note that your reason for breaking up should only be for February 14. To be able to come back on the 15th like a flower saying it’s crazy, things are better. The man will say to himself that you fled for fear of love (which is wonderful, admit it), will do his best to be as reassuring as possible and will never offer you any Valentine’s Day again.

Organize something that has been planned for two months

Plan a full Sunday with your group of friends by telling the man that this has all been planned for ages. A pat on the shoulder, a “sorry I can’t cancel”, and lo and behold, Sunday you disappear all day, unreachable, with your girlfriends (or alone at home in your pajamas, when none are available. more important is not to turn on the light or close your curtains tightly).

Cancel February 14

Contact the authorities or start a petition. Point yourself with an A4 sheet “Against Valentine’s Day!” in strategic locations: in front of the Italie 2 shopping center or at the foot of the Champs-Elysées. Collect signatures and go see the Prime Minister. You can also become friends with an influential person (Ryan Gosling or Lady Gaga) who will spread the following message on Instagram: Valentine’s Day sucks. And the lovers’ party will be gone forever.

Break your arm

You can pretend. Or just say you have a bad headache. A little sore will allow you to stay in bed all day. But beware, alone. Because the man could well take advantage of your inertia to disembark with a breakfast tray. Just tell him that you are not in top form and that it would be a shame to ruin a day like this with your condition. So, offer to postpone and when it’s time to postpone say that Valentine’s Day celebrated later loses its value. It’s a bit sad.

If not, tell him the truth

Chat with him over a drink or on a sofa. Explain to him that you fear Valentine’s Day. Not that you are not romantic, but you are not a sheep. Hopefully he’ll say he totally agrees with you and wasn’t planning on doing anything. If you see a petition in his pocket or if he tells you that he has planned a Sunday thing with five friends organized for five years, there is no doubt, he is the man of your life.

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