A person’s gender identity determines the way they behave and some aspects of their lifestyle, including their temperament. Sexuality is a projection of temperament, so the psychology of this phenomenon in women and men has characteristic features. The question of how to develop sexuality is relevant for a person regardless of gender, but the manifestations and ways of development will differ. This is an article about the psychology of sexuality and ways to reveal it for men and women.
Sexuality is not an innate trait. It is an acquired energy that attracts a potential partner. The effectiveness of managing this energy depends on many factors. The concept of sexuality in psychology is not fully studied. It is classified as normal and abnormal, which include a reflex-controlled form. In the presence of deviations, the energy of sexuality becomes dangerous for the person and society.
Women are more interested in the development of sexuality than men, and often they have a wrong idea. This concept has nothing to do with ideal facial features or proportions of the figure, with frankness in the behavior and manner of dressing. The emphasis is placed on the inner energy that can awaken certain emotions in a man, interest, love, animal instincts. Appearance also has a certain meaning, but it is not about meeting any standards, but about the external expression of charm.
Signs of sexuality for women:
- self-confidence, moderate manifestations;
- restraint, but not the isolation that locks up energy;
- the beauty of the bust, it is believed that the breast is able to increase energy;
- beauty of the buttocks, affects the male psychology;
- expression of facial expressions, especially the look, it attracts the opposite sex;
- well-groomed skin, beautiful hair, have an effect on men;
- high heels, a historically formed attribute of attractiveness;
- clothing that emphasizes dignity strengthens all other aspects.
Thus, from the point of view of psychology, a woman’s sexuality is a harmony between internal and external qualities.
Men’s sexuality is less often discussed, but women also have their own criteria for evaluating the opposite sex. These attributes are valued:
- expressed self-confidence, but not bordering on narcissism;
- an endearing personal charm;
- masculine facial features;
- high intelligence, for men this is an important component of sexual energy;
- the ability to care, condescension, kindness – valuable qualities from the point of view of female psychology;
- ability to make a cool decision;
- sense of humor.
In this case, the emphasis is on behaviors that are means of communication.
Mechanisms of formation and use
Everyone has the opportunity to develop their sexuality. But in addition to favorable factors for development, there are also negative ones that hinder it. Various forms of interaction contribute to the development: flirting, tactile touch, dance, and pleasant joint activities. Strong obstacles are the inability to open up to the partner and indifference to his desires, the lack of a positive approach. Energy is blocked by internal bans.
Sexual energy is used not only during sex and other interactions with partners. Through the centers of movement, it is transformed into physical forces that can be used to achieve athletic success. Through the instinctive center – on self-improvement, striving for health, proper nutrition and lifestyle. Through the emotional center – on the creative potential, through the intellectual-on a deep knowledge of yourself. That is why sexuality depends on all the circumstances that happen in life: if the energy does not come out as it should, then it goes the wrong way.
Women’s potential is very powerful, it can open up new opportunities in all spheres of life, and will contribute to the increase of material goods. When this potential is revealed, charisma and incredible strength, creative energy, and the ability to enjoy every moment of life are shown. To some extent, this also applies to the male potential, but there are fundamental differences. Energy in men finds an outlet in the desire for courage, success, and financial benefits. In their youth, guys spend their energy thoughtlessly, closer to the age of 30, it begins to be spent more rationally.
Principles of the development of sexuality
There are several principles that must be followed to awaken sexual energy. Most of them are relevant for both women and men.
Discover the fun
A person should feel a desire to have fun, be able to enjoy life and appreciate every lived moment. This is natural, but requires practice as a skill. With the development of this skill, the power of the so-called energy vibrations that come from each happy person increases.
To learn how to enjoy life and strive for pleasure, you need to periodically do a simple exercise. Take an orange and try to eat it, concentrating on your feelings. Feel the texture of its skin, evaluate its size and density, smell the zest and pulp, then eat a small piece and focus on the taste. It is necessary to get pleasure not only from the taste and aroma, but also from anticipation, to evaluate every detail. If your thoughts get confused and switch to something else while doing this, it means that your body does not know how to get pleasure and does not strive for it. In this case, you should look for objects that can bring pleasure and concentrate on them. It can be a beautiful sunset, a fragrant coffee with your favorite mug, an unusual interior item.
Get rid of stereotypes
The topic of sex has long ceased to be taboo in society, but still remains so in the minds of many people. The reason for this is stereotypes, which prevent sexuality from being revealed. Often everything goes from childhood, when the emerging personality is forced to believe that sex and everything associated with it is shameful and indecent, she is highly likely to carry these stereotypes through life, experiencing problems with revealing herself.
Parents instill such attitudes in their children in order to protect them, but sometimes they choose too rigid a strategy, as a result, they inculcate not only prohibitions, but also a high level of anxiety. As an adult, it is time to recognize that the previously established attitudes have already lost their relevance.
To build trust
Sexuality cannot be revealed if a person does not trust himself. Self-esteem depends on the level of trust, as well as evaluating the actions of others, in particular your partner. When a person accepts himself, he will not be afraid of the partner’s reaction to his actions and desires, so he will be able to openly talk about what he wants. Forming trust and a positive attitude to yourself develops not only sexual potential, but also creative.
Develop determination and confidence
Sexuality depends on such important qualities as self-confidence, courage and determination. A self-doubting person will not be able to exude energy, without courage you will not be able to trust your partner, and determination is needed in order to do unusual actions for yourself. You can get these qualities in sports, training strengthens the personality, especially extreme sports disciplines.
Love your body
This is a key point in working on yourself. In relation to your own body, standards and far-fetched stereotypes interfere. Women are especially influenced by them, this happens on an unconscious level. Most men do find the generally accepted standards of beauty attractive, but this is just a form. Without filling in the principles listed here, she will not be able to achieve sexuality.
The body becomes attractive if it is treated with love, understood and accepted, and taken care of. Taking care of the body is not just about taking care, it starts with proper nutrition and physical activity. This is what makes the body healthy, beautiful and well-groomed. Your body should not be shy, this leads not only to psychological consequences, but also to physical diseases.
Take an active role
This principle applies to women. Historically, the female sex has been given a passive role, since the male is the leader in terms of sexual potential disclosure. Many girls consider this natural, at the beginning of the relationship, everything suits them. But later on, problems arise on this basis, including in matters of sex. A woman understands that she cannot open up and realize herself, because she is afraid to be active. The role of the passive party does not allow you to experiment. If you take the initiative, your self-esteem will become much higher, and this will help in all areas of life.
To activate emotional involvement
In moments of any closeness between the partners, there should be a connection. Without it, communication will become an empty set of phrases thrown into the air, and sex will become a meaningless sequence of mechanical actions. The ability to enter into an emotional connection with a partner awakens that very energy of attraction. It is important to focus on yourself and how you feel about your partner. Simply put, it is necessary to be here and now, not only with your body, but also with your mind.
5 ways to get sexier
These methods are a logical continuation of the principles listed above. Sexuality is expressed primarily in inner harmony, and these are recommendations for its development.
Get to know your body
To awaken sensuality and find ease in communicating with the opposite sex, you need to study your body. If you observe your feelings, you can find out which areas of touch bring pleasure, and in which – unpleasant sensations and even irritation. For each of these feelings are individual. Learning about your body will not only help you improve your sexual practices, but it will also allow you to completely change your mindset and even change your appearance, usually noticeably changing your gait and posture.
Love and accept yourself
Inner harmony begins with establishing order within yourself. If something prevents you from loving yourself, then it must be corrected. You can start with the simplest and transform your body through proper nutrition and physical activity. It is also worth working out psychological problems, if you do not manage to do this yourself, then you should consult a specialist-a psychologist or psychotherapist. In order not to miss anything, it is better to make a list of necessary changes. After each of them, you will become closer to the state in which you will truly love yourself.
To get rid of the negativity
Negative emotions absorb all kinds of internal energy, including sexual energy. Anger, discontent, annoyance, jealousy, envy – this list of energy sinks can be continued indefinitely. If you switch to positive thinking, you will have more strength to solve daily tasks and implement plans that were previously postponed for later. This change also has external manifestations: the person gets rid of dark circles under the eyes and other signs of fatigue, he looks happy, as if shining with happiness.
Do what you like
If you’ve wanted to learn how to draw for a long time, then you need to start doing it right now. The same can be said about dancing, reading, and applied arts, which were abandoned many years ago. A hobby is not only necessary to get rid of boredom, it makes a person self-sufficient and satisfied with life. The ability to get involved in something makes people more attractive in the eyes of others. A person who is passionate about something is constantly developing, so he is interesting and attractive.
To understand that kills the sexiness
The relationship between the sexes is not just about sex. Therefore, the main enemies of sexuality are the inability to present yourself, indifference to yourself and others, unwillingness to change. There are still a number of negative factors:
- Hyper-responsiveness. A striking example is when a woman tries to take on too much and deprives a man of the opportunity to show responsibility;
- locking mechanism yourself inside the negative emotion. When they accumulate, it is expressed not only in bodily diseases, but also in a lack of energy. It is not worth trying to get rid of the negative, snapping at others, so it will become even more so. The best way is to practice yoga and meditation;
- fears for the future. Coming events are always a surprise, and it is impossible to predict them with high accuracy. Therefore, do not scroll through the worst possible scenarios in your head, it will not bring anything but increased anxiety;
- regrets about the past. Constantly replaying a scenario from the past in your head, you give it your life force. Energy should be spent on what is happening here and now, not on what we can no longer change;
- excessive independence. Failure to delegate matters in time leads to a state of exhaustion in which no one is attractive.
There is another natural reason why women’s sexual energy reserves are depleted. This is the birth of children and their upbringing, especially at the age of one to three years. It’s not just physical fatigue, the child takes away the mother’s energy resources. It is no accident that many couples break up at this time. It is necessary to be more attentive to yourself in this difficult period and do not forget that you are not only a mother, but also a wife, a beloved woman.
Yoga for increasing your sexuality
Some yoga asanas have the property of stimulating female and male sexuality. You can perform them in any sequence. Before practice, a warm-up session is required. the complex “Greeting to the sun”will suit you. It is important to pay attention to each exercise to be sure that it is performed correctly.
Lightning pose – Vajrasana
- Get on your knees, point your feet back and cross your thumbs. The knees are brought together, the heels are separated.
- Sit with your buttocks on the ankle area, lower your hands on your knees.
- Make sure that your back remains straight, concentrate on your breathing, it should be even and calm.
- Maintain your position as long as possible. It is advisable to close your eyes, this helps you concentrate.
This position of the body promotes blood flow to the pelvic-sacral area, which is useful for the genitals and digestive system. In the presence of digestive problems, it is recommended to resort to the asana after each meal and maintain it for at least five minutes. With regular exercise, the pelvic muscles are strengthened, this is the prevention of hernias, as well as preparation for childbirth.
The rabbit pose – Sasangasana
Also known as the lunar asana. Performed from the previous position, back straight, hands on your knees.
- Take the Vajrasana pose.
- As you inhale, raise your arms straight above your head.
- As you exhale, lean forward with your entire body. Make sure that the arms are an extension of the torso.
- Bend so low that your hands and forehead touch the floor. Hold this position for a few moments and hold your breath.
- On the inhale, return to the vertical position.
- On the exhale, lower your arms to take the starting position.
Repeat this sequence ten times. This exercise has several variations. In a horizontal position, you can not hold your breath, but breathe as usual or more slowly and deeply, in this case, the execution will take longer. Shashankasana has variations: with the hands placed behind the back so that the left hand wraps around the right wrist, and with the hands clenched into fists and located in the lower abdomen. In the latter case, the fists will exert pressure on the internal organs, and it is normal to feel it. In any of the variations, the asana is useful for preventing and eliminating sexual disorders in women and men, strengthening the pelvic muscles, and restoring the proper functioning of the adrenal glands.
Posture stretching herself cat – Marjariasana
- From the same Vajrasana position, lean forward and place your palms on the floor, they should be shoulder-width apart.
- Take a deep breath and at the same time tilt your head back and bend your back down.
- In parallel, exhale and arch your back up, tilt your head down.
- Watch the position of the hands, they should remain straight and parallel to the floor. Repeat this ten times.
The action is aimed at increasing the flexibility of the shoulders, neck and back, stimulating the male and female sexual systems to correct activity. This exercise will be useful for pregnant women in the first trimester, as well as for menstrual irregularities. To increase efficiency, you need to tighten and draw in the abdominal muscles on each exhalation.
Striking Cobra pose-Shashank-Bhujangasana
- Take the position of Marjariasana and spread your arms a little wider, so that the distance between them is about 50 cm.
- Without taking your hands off the floor, give your torso back. Continue the movement until the arms and chest are not located in the same horizontal plane.
- Then give the body forward, simultaneously raise the chest and return the arms to a position perpendicular to the floor.
- Bend your back and tilt your head back so that your body looks like an attacking Cobra.
- Hold the position for a few moments, then slowly return to the original position and repeat ten times.
Breathing should remain natural. In addition to stimulating sexuality, this asana improves the functioning of all internal organs, especially the liver, and also relieves back pain. This exercise will be useful for pregnant women in the early stages and if they have problems with their menstrual cycle.
Pose of a camel – Ustrasana
- In the Vajrasana position, push your shins apart to sit on the floor between them. The feet should be on the sides of the buttocks.
- Take a breath and rise to your knees, while simultaneously raising your arms to the sides and straighten them out.
- Do an exhalation and turn the body to the right, slightly deflect the trunk back to grab the left heel with your right hand.
- Raise your left palm to the height of your forehead and point it at me.
- Tilt your head slightly back and place your weight on your right arm.
- At the exit, slowly return to the kneeling position, perform the same in the other direction.
The exercise can be performed in dynamic and static modes. In dynamics, you need to do ten repetitions, alternating sides. In statics, take the position, hold it for a minute, then repeat in the other direction. You can do this in another variation: not turning to the side, but leaning back to grab the heels with both hands. In this case, you should try to bend as much as possible. The camel pose is useful for opening the sexual potential, as well as for normalizing the digestive and excretory systems, helps with back pain, shingles.
The pose of the tiger – Viagracan
- From the position of Vajrasana, go to Marjariasana, and look straight ahead.
- Straighten the right leg back so that it becomes parallel to the floor, then bend the knee so that the fingers are directed towards the head. At the same time, look up.
- Make a sweeping movement with your leg, so that the hip is closer and pressed to the stomach. At the same time, the knee does not unbend, and the fingers do not touch the floor.
- Bend your head to touch your cheek to the knee, while arching your spine up.
- Reverse the movement and return the leg to the upper position, then lower and straighten out, so that it again becomes parallel to the floor.
Do five repetitions with one leg, then the same amount with the other. It is important to synchronize movement and breath: the foot is moved back for a breath, bent at the knee holding the breath, the Mach on the exhale, touch a cheek, a knee on the breath, return to the upper position on the inhale, in the original – on the exhale. Concentrate on every movement of your body, every tension and relaxation of your muscles. Doing this will be especially useful for women in the postpartum period.
From all the listed ways and recommendations on how to develop sexuality,you will definitely be able to choose those that are suitable for you. In any of them, the key point will be the desire to work on yourself, become better and more attractive.