Out of sight, out of mind? Not necessary. Here’s how to keep a long-distance relationship.
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It is impossible to maintain a full-fledged relationship in a couple, being at a distance from each other for a long time, psychologists are sure. Neither correspondence, nor telephone conversations and video communication can replace physical contact, real live communication. However, sometimes circumstances develop in such a way (take, for example, the coronavirus, which translated into “remote control” and relationships too) that partners have to be apart. How to get through it?
Get in touch as often as possible. Regular communication – an indispensable condition for maintaining long-distance relationships. It should be trusting and emotionally intense. Speak more tender and passionate words to your partner. Flirt with your fantasy and imagination. “Phone sex” is not devoid of piquancy, although it cannot replace full-fledged intimate contact. I must say that it is difficult to maintain a relationship in a couple, when lovers are separated by kilometers. There is no physical contact, there is no way to convey your own feelings with the help of facial expressions, body movements, looks. When we are apart, we are deprived of everything that live human communication gives. While maintaining a remote connection, we have at our disposal only the voice, its intonation and the set of words. Make the most of these tools.
Take on board the achievements of technical progress. With the help of a smartphone, mobile Internet, free messengers, you can correspond and call each other at the farthest distances and at any time of the day. And video calls and skype will create the illusion of presence and make you closer to each other.
However, do not turn close communication with your partner into total control over him. The requirement to stay in touch 24/7 will tire the most loyal companion, and the relationship will openly weigh him down. “The temptation to control every step of your man arises most often precisely when he is far from you, – says Olga Turometseva, family psychologist. – The reason is banal jealousy and distrust. You doubt your partner and convince yourself that he is capable of cheating, especially now – when you are not around. But instead of requiring your loved one to report every two hours where he is and with whom, it is better to think about where such feelings come from, whether there really is reason not to trust. You are probably just winding yourself up. Do not make a scandal if your partner does not immediately answer the message or is late with the call – this is not yet convincing evidence of treason. Most likely, he was really busy and could not pay attention to you. ” We have already written about why we are jealous and how to cope with this destructive feeling. Let’s just add that separation is a great reason to remember that in addition to relationships, you have other things to do. So take care of them. “Change your lifestyle and mindset,” says Evgeny Ilyin, psychologist, author of the book “The Psychology of Love”. – You’ve probably noticed: when there is nothing to do, all sorts of bad thoughts come into your head. So come up with something to your liking. ” Otherwise, you will indeed have reason to be jealous.
Do something together
Modern means of communication give a unique chance to live one life, constantly feeling the closeness of a partner, while being anywhere – even at different ends of the planet. You just need to turn on Skype or use any other method of video communication on your electronic device. Even being thousands of kilometers apart, you can easily (although not in a pandemic, of course). organize joint shopping, a trip to a museum, to an exhibition. Go jogging, fitness or yoga together; walk the streets of the city, showing each other the sights; watch on the Internet and discuss a movie, listen to music. How about a festive virtual dinner or an online party? This way of communicating at a distance brings people closer. In addition, you and your partner have many additional topics for conversation.
It’s great if you and your partner share common interests, hobbies, and professional activities. This means that even distance will not make your communication less interesting and meaningful. Personal relationships are only beneficial. “Joint activities, common interests bring them closer together, make it possible to better understand the nature of the partner,” says Olga Turometseva. – Like-minded people find it easier to find a common language with each other. They always have topics for discussion and discussion. ” An excellent way to maintain a relationship on a “remote” can be joint creativity, for example, design, drawing or cooking, which is not of fundamental importance. Choose the option that will interest both of you. You can improve yourself by attending online classes together or by watching training videos on YouTube.