How to stop “dragging everything” and feel like a weak woman without pretending to be silly or inept? Just 6 steps to motivate your husband.
In case you want to feel like a weak woman, but not in a dressing gown and in the kitchen, but in heels and with an armful of roses, we give step-by-step instructions on how to encourage your husband to take more responsibility for the family.
Legal equality of the sexes is undoubtedly one of the greatest achievements of our time. But there are also excesses in the form of purposeful women who manage to shine at two jobs, raise children and do household chores, as well as their husbands who are not eager to share all the hardships of life with their beloved. How to change the distribution of responsibilities in a couple? Easy!
Praise him in front of other people.
Parents, neighbors, friends, and colleagues should be informed about your spouse’s competencies. He was right, he foresaw, he found, he negotiated, he could, he took care. Of course, your words must be sincere, just learn to emphasize what women usually do not praise their husbands for, taking their actions for granted.
Expected effect. Your husband and everyone around you will quickly realize how proud you are of him. The effect will be stronger if you yourself are not a mistake – the respect of a beautiful, intelligent and self-sufficient wife is very much appreciated in our emancipated time. Your men will start to listen to your opinion, and this will force him to maintain his authority.
Give up control
More often than not, men are better at using a hammer drill, and women are better at gardening. But it also happens the other way around. It doesn’t matter who is responsible for what in your family, it is important that you clearly define and follow each other’s responsibilities. The husband can cope with his household chores either himself or hire specialists, in any case this is his area of responsibility. If you really can’t wait, you can express your opinion on how to properly lay tiles in the bathroom – but only if asked.
Expected effect. If, after assigning responsibilities, you still control your husband, then you will soon have to do everything yourself again. Allow your husband to treat the family as his personal project, where he is urgently needed, sees the results of his efforts and has the right to make mistakes – no one is watching him.
Trust your husband to raise children
Let’s be honest, in the modern world there are not so many exclusively male responsibilities. All of them are associated with hard physical labor, which the overwhelming majority of citizens no longer need. Therefore, it is necessary to expand the responsibilities of a man at the expense of women’s competencies.
You can entrust your husband with the choice of gifts for your and his parents or the choice of a place for family vacation. Better yet, involve him in some aspects of parenting. For example, to the issue of children’s health. Let the spouse control the vaccination schedule, communication with the pediatrician and specialized specialists. He himself will grow up as soon as he realizes that he is responsible for the child not abstractly, but very concretely.
You can also make your husband responsible for bathing your baby. Be sure to emphasize that his participation is necessary – “the child cries if I wash him”, “I do not have time to cook dinner”, “the child is waiting for you” and so on. Plus, the spouse can be fully responsible for the choice of the sports section for the child and communication with the coach – for sure, he will even like it.
Expected effect. Perhaps the most difficult thing for a woman is to delegate the sphere of child education. However, doing this is extremely useful even if your task is not to make your husband more responsible. The trusting relationship of a son or daughter with a father is very important for a healthy child’s psyche.
Ask him for help
Yes, we can do a lot. But we don’t always want to. Therefore, asking for help from the closest person, to seem weak and vulnerable, is useful for both parties. In the end, we get married to make our life easier, and not vice versa. Ask him to carry heavy bags and greet you after work.
This is necessary in order for a man to feel responsible for his wife, to understand that there is a person next to him who needs to be taken care of and protected. A woman does not have to pretend to be awkward or silly, she can have a successful career and fifth dan in karate, but by demonstrating a desire to take care of herself, a woman encourages a man to be more masculine and mature.
Expected effect. Remember that the language of nuances and semitones is good with men in candy-bouquet times. If you are already married, then you need to talk about your desires very specifically. Don’t put it like this: “Buy something tasty for dinner” if you don’t want a bucket of fries and burgers. Immediately say clearly, “how much to weigh in grams.”
Consult with your husband
Refrain from making decisions that affect family life alone. Even in matters of cooking dinner, you need to consult with your half, so that he understands that his opinion is extremely important. Let the people around you understand that all decisions in your family are made together.
Whether the child’s teacher proposes to introduce an elective or tutoring, whether the senior at the entrance asks to chip in for a video surveillance system, whether a friend calls on families to go on vacation – all the people around should hear “I will consult with my husband.” When all the acquaintances understand who is the authority in your family, they will turn to him with requests and suggestions, making him feel important and freeing up a lot of time for you.
Expected effect. Agree, if you are constantly expected to make decisions, it’s not so easy to play computer games all day or hang out with friends. He will understand that not only you, but also the “public” is waiting for his decisions and firmness. Then the times will come when a woman will think about going to a beautician more than buying corrugated board for a summer residence. A man, on the other hand, is busy making informed decisions for the good of the family.
Don’t be a demanding mentor
Let’s say you have learned to demonstrate to others “who is the boss in your house”. But do not criticize your husband as soon as the door slams behind your friends. Remember, you cannot point out to the “head of the family” at every step of his mistakes. Even if he bought the wrong sort of apples and again forgot to unscrew the safety wheels from the children’s bike, this is not a reason to speak from a position of superiority.
Expected effect. While carefully monitoring the husband’s responsibilities, do not forget about your role for the family – to be support, give tenderness and encouragement. After all, this man returns to your house every day, for sure, not only for the regular removal of the trash can.
Source : zolotoy.ru