Let’s talk about the most common pre-wedding conflicts and how to avoid them.
Preparations for a wedding are rarely complete without quarrels. Let’s talk about the main causes of pre-wedding conflicts and how to eliminate them.
He is indifferent to triumph
A detailed scenario of the celebration has formed in your head a long time ago – from the style of the dress to the color of the napkins. And he doesn’t give a damn about everything, he doesn’t even want to know how to design a photo zone in the style of rustic. Such indifference to things that are of utmost importance to you infuriates you.
Take the test: What kind of bride are you?
Council. Find interesting tasks for the groom – well, he cannot be absolutely uninterested in nothing. Surely he will gladly choose cars for the motorcade, and he will not refuse to participate in the preparation of the festive menu. Use his strengths: if your loved one has a mathematical mindset, let him take care of the budget. He is an avid music lover – ask him to prepare a playlist. Let him understand how important his help is for you – then he will try twice.
He’s overly active
The opposite situation – your fiance with overwhelming enthusiasm got involved in organizing the celebration and every detail is subject to heated discussion. The handwritten lettering on the invitations is “just over his corpse”, he prefers an antique; comes to the point that he does not even approve of the color of the bridesmaids’ dresses, entering your territory.
See also: Checklist for the groom
Council. It will be correct to immediately divide the zones of influence and strictly observe the boundaries, without interfering with each other doing their own thing. How to divide them so that no one is left offended? You can, of course, flip a coin, or you can determine on a scale from 1 to 10 what worries each of you the most. If there are controversial points that are equally important to both, well, it’s time to learn to find compromises.
Money is a very delicate topic, and, on the one hand, it is embarrassing to point out to your soul mate that he is investing less than you financially, and on the other hand, you cannot hush up the problem – after all, very soon you will have to manage your family budget. Let’s say you are greatly offended by the fact that the number of relatives and friends on his side significantly exceeds the number of guests with yours – despite the fact that you pay equally. Are your claims fair? Yes. Do you need to open your beloved’s eyes to the real state of affairs? Of course! The only question is how to do it right.
Take the quiz: What’s your budget for your dream wedding?
Council. Use the language of numbers – it is always emotionally neutral. Just calculate how much each guest will cost and propose to divide the costs in proportion to their number. A loved one will surely appreciate your business acumen – in general, the ability to solve problems in a businesslike manner, without swearing and hysterics, always evokes respect in a man.
Different honeymoon plans
Beloved dreams of spending a honeymoon on a grand scale somewhere in the Maldives, renting a water bungalow in the emerald lagoon. You want a more modest vacation – the standard All inclusive in Turkey will be enough for you, if only you have enough money for an insanely expensive dress from a luxury brand, in which you will look just like Kate Hudson in The Bride Wars.
See also: Honeymoon trip 2020: forecasts and optimal directions
Council. Think, is it wise to spend fabulous sums on a dress that you wear only once? You can find an outfit from a more democratic brand that will suit you no less, and you will not worry for the whole wedding that you will be doused, stained or accidentally torn off the hem. As for the honeymoon – if you are strongly against the Maldives, pick another option, but make your honeymoon special and memorable. Your best bet is to go to places you both have never been before.
Potentially dangerous guests
Beloved invited his college friend to your celebration, who will definitely get drunk and shout songs of the Leningrad group, because he does not know how to do otherwise. And your groom’s second cousin niece recently got married herself and will constantly compare her celebration with yours: they say, our cake was several tiers higher, and the florist is better, and contests are more fun.
See also: 6 types of wedding guests
Council. You should not forbid your future husband to invite those he wants and darken his holiday. You can always find a way to neutralize dangerous guests – for example, you can surround them with people who can somehow “balance” them. A violent friend will restrain his impulses in the company of a shy girl, and a second cousin’s niece will always be taken away by some old aunt who knows exactly how to behave at someone else’s wedding.
Birds are singing in your head and cupids are flying, and suddenly you are struck by the proposal to conclude a marriage contract. But what about love, you think, does your beloved admit even the very thought of divorce ?! It turns out that in your union you sincerely and sublimely love only you, and he is a very calculating and down to earth type?
See also: How to conclude a marriage contract
Council. It may seem paradoxical to you, but the marriage contract is not about how to get a divorce, but about how to live peacefully and happily in a marriage. If you take care of the interests of your soul mate as of your own, then easily agree on all financial issues so that in the future they do not undermine your feelings.
Former at the wedding
Your beloved is an adherent of the so-called “high relationship” and not only communicates with his old lover, but also wants her to be present at the ceremony. Or maybe you just decided to call your ex so that he would be happy for you – this is generally accepted in the civilized world, and Nicole Kidman invited Tom Cruise to her wedding with Keith Urban.
See also: How to treat his exes?
Council. This is the very situation when you need to leave jealousy aside and focus on winning. Remember the film “Promise is not to marry”: if people broke up, it means that they were not so good together. You can even be sure that now there are absolutely no romantic feelings between them – which does not negate the feelings of friendship. So be sure to talk to your spouse about this moment, and if the arguments “against” are not so scary, you can invite exes – both from him and from your side.
You are so carried away by the realization of your dream that you do not notice anything around. All your talk is only about wedding decor and table setting; instead of spending time with your beloved, you hang out on wedding sites and profile publics. Of course, the beloved does not like this, and he, in turn, closes in and moves away from you.
See also: Which wedding ring is right for you?
Council. Remember the movie “Sex and the City”, where Carrie too aggressively makes the fairy tale come true and completely forgets about the person with whom he is going to go to the altar – so in the end he simply does not come there. Pause your preparations and plan a romantic evening. A short break will remind you of the true meaning of this day, because the wedding is, first of all, your common holiday.
Source : zolotoy.ru