We know at least 5 reasons not to get bored in a new relationship.
At least once in her life, every girl said to herself, her mother and her friends: “I can change him!” But no, that won’t happen (Mom warned, right?). There are things that you cannot influence, you will either have to accept your loved one with them, or part with the whole set at once.
Original sense of style
Beloved Bridget Jones wore an ugly reindeer sweater for Christmas, and the rest of the year was an elegant lawyer. Let’s say your husband does not undergo such metamorphoses, but remains in the same sweater with deer from his grandmother’s chest, or, on the contrary, prefers to wear all the best at once.
If Cupid’s arrow overtook you on the beach, when the tanned torso is visible, but there are no toilet items, then we can only recommend that you remain calm and not chop off your shoulder, tormented by the question of why he wears a Hawaiian shirt under a sheepskin coat.
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It is difficult to convince a man that he needs to change his wardrobe – he will defend his “unique style” until victorious and will not give up his favorite sandals and socks for abuse. Better take a closer look at this “style”.
Good news… His dressing style may not suit your aesthetic principles, but suit your man’s lifestyle. If he is a karate-do sensei, and not the chairman of the council of ministers, he is forgiven for not getting out of his sweatshirts.
And if his hobby is reggae music and on Fridays he even plays with friends in a bar, dreadlocks quite logically complement his image. What a three-piece suit here. Remember, sometimes changing a style is like changing a person. Will you like it then?
You will not change a man’s opinion about the distribution of roles in the family. He can be sure that a woman’s place is at the stove, or, on the contrary, everyone should work on an equal footing. The same goes for his religious or political beliefs.
Think twice before starting a serious relationship with a man whose views you hate. Don’t be fooled or exaggerate the strength of his love for you. It may be that he loves his church or his beliefs just as much.
Good news… If the lifestyle of a man does not leave an imprint on your relationship, then you can find many advantages in such a union. History knows many examples of successful “opposites” marriages based on compromise, acceptance and the desire to be together no matter what.
Moreover, over the course of life, the worldview of each person undergoes changes. It is possible that both of you will begin to go to the same church, abandon it altogether, or decide that your husband will go on the third decree.
Indifference to “male” work
He does not seek to lay tiles in the bathroom, does not torn to drive the proverbial nail into the wall, and does not ask to change the candles in your car. He does not have his own car, did not have and will not – he does not like to drive.
The reasons may be different, but the bottom line is that you will not be able to convince your loved one of the need for “male” activities. That being said, your husband can be incredibly successful in other areas of his life. The only question is whether you will be able to assess his ability to be a man not in the stereotypical understanding of this role.
Good news. Our ideas about the ideal partner are formed in a bizarre way – it can be a model of parental relationships or a child’s love for a movie hero, or maybe all at once. In any case, if the man just falls short of your straight-handed dad’s high standards, try looking at the problem from a different angle.
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The world is changing very quickly. Your dad can plug in a mixer, but he won’t think of mowing hay for a cow with his own hands, or even getting a cow. Oh no no no. What would your grandfather say to that?
So you are in no hurry to enroll your loved one in plumbing courses, because he does not drive you to wash your clothes on the river, but is able to buy an automatic machine and pay a professional to connect it.
Relations with relatives
You want to improve your husband’s relationship with family if they are detached, and “cool” if they are too close. Do you dream of teaching adults how to love each other properly – do not flatter yourself.
His relationship with his family developed long before your appearance in his life, and now it is difficult to figure out why your husband loves his sister, hates his brother, worships dad and is afraid of mom.
Good news… If his relationship with your mom or other relatives doesn’t affect you directly, just accept it. If his parental home is his main family, then it’s time to create an alternative universe.
Develop your young social unit – create new traditions, mark only your memorable dates and events. Do not push away his relatives, but on the contrary, more often invite them to your house. It is important for the husband to feel his own importance and indispensability for your new family – then he will stop idolizing another.
Guys. Beer. Football
Your man’s range of interests can be very wide. He loves to scuba dive and spend large sums on it; volunteering at sporting events to the detriment of paid work; run on rooftops, chase pigeons, as if his name is Yura and he is 15 years old; go to the mountains for a month in splendid isolation; leave his friend to spend the night, who was abandoned by another girl.
You may not like any of these activities, but he will not give up his hobbies and relationships with friends, because all these are facets of his personality.
Good news… Starting a relationship with a new person, we all have a certain given, and it depends on us whether to accept it or not. Everything is fair. If you decide to “accept” for yourself, be consistent. Make friends with his weird friends, they can turn out to be reliable and kind guys, learn to distinguish Chubaku from chubate pigeons, love a tourist tent more than a hot bath, take an interest in the history of Russian rap – show curiosity about things important to your husband.
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Seeing that you do not seek to change him, set ultimatums and manipulate, he will certainly take a step forward. And one fine Sunday morning, you find yourself picking carrots together at the farmers’ market, and your husband doesn’t even roll his eyes.
By the way, grandfather Freud reasoned about this as follows: “If one could not find anything in the other that should be corrected, then the two of them would be terribly bored.”
Source : zolotoy.ru